That's The Way Baseball Go

I was severely disappointed when the award for Best Real-Life Person Being Adapted by an Actor in a Supporting Role was dropped this year at the 84th Academy Awards. Since the girl with the dragon tattoo, as I am told, is not actually a real-life person, the Texas Rangers’ very own Ron Washington was a shoe-in via Moneyball. 

In fact, I hear the only reason Phillip Seymour Hoffman decided to show up was to hear Washington’s acceptance speech. While Ron was not able to share his eloquence with the ABC viewers, I was able to snag a VHS of his prerecorded acceptance speech. The following is the transcript:

“Thank you for havin’ me on. I enjoy comin’ on the Oscars anytime I’m on it. Today is a great day for the Major League of Baseball. I knows - I knows exactly what I capable of doin’, and I’m glad Brent Jennin’s could portray that. Anyone that knows me an’ the game of baseball…know what Ron Washington is about. An’ Jennin’s know me. I’m not surprised by anything Jennin’ do. I’m not surprised by anything Brad Pitt do. I’m not surprised by anything Jonah Hill do. They’re a class ac’. You know the ac’ors today do what they do, and iss fun time now.”

Josh Hamilton has been spotted in a DFW bar drinking alcohol. If he was your average baseball player, this would not be a big deal at all, but because of his past with an alcohol addiction, it’s a little more concerning. I’m hoping the media is turning this into a bigger deal than it needs to be, what with him seeking a long-term contract with the Rangers. Good luck Josh; we’re all rooting for you to overcome these obstacles.